We’re leaving Goa today (as I’m writing this) and I’m reminded of the many, many wonderful things, some even exceeding my expectation. But the horse-and-carriage of a van, looking like a full-sized tour bus chopped in half and serving as our only mode of transportation, was, however, not one of those wonderful things.
The suspension system for wheeled vehicles, invented so many civilizations ago, somehow escaped the design specifications of this van. Sitting over the second axle of this van is like saddling up on a fully galloping horse chasing down errant cattle. If not fastened, small children and body parts fly like you’re on a turbulent flight hitting an unsettled pocket of air.
It’s not hyperbole to describe some bumps as lifting one’s body out of the seat, resulting in momentary “free fall” as one astute fellow traveler noted. If you have seen the original Exorcist where the possessed girl bounces on her bed with limbs a-flailing, you get the idea.
Not helping matters is the fact that speed bumps in Goa come in sets of six. Yes, you read that correct. Six bumps. Two axles times six bumps equal lots of thrashing.
For what it’s worth, though, I do respect the hustle of our driver. For his own comfort over these speed bumps, as soon as he clears his front axle from the last of the six speed bumps, throttling the gas with great care and precision, it’s full-on, rocket ship-like acceleration as soon the front wheels touch even tarmac. Unscathed by the experience each time around, I wonder if our driver is even aware of the plight of his passengers. Still, our tip for his services will be generous.